I’m so late, even an apology won’t work 😬 let’s hope an Ayaaz’s P.O.V. will make it more forgivable? 😉
Author’s note at the end 😉 Please read it!
This is the last post until after Ramadaan. I will be back after Ramadaan, inshallah.
Now please enjoy! 😊
I lulled Reez to sleep even though I couldn’t understand much of her words between her chokes and tears.
My mind was frazzled from working till late on my laptop, and her sudden outburst caught me by surprise. I couldn’t get her to calm down.
When her sobs became less and less, I placed her between the blankets and tucked her in, kissing her on her forehead before watching her fall asleep.
The days were longer for me as I worked overtime the whole week. I went to work, just barely remembering to kiss Reez goodbye, and I came home late in the evenings, almost too exhausted to kiss her in greeting.
The stress of working harder towards the promotion they just announced was weighing me down, but Reez’s smile everyday made it worthwhile, as cheesy as that sounds.
She waited for me to have dinner, even though it was late and we were both tired. Exams were setting in and she studied in every free minute, while I pulled out my laptop and worked on the next software update for the system.
I didn’t want to stress her or make her feel like things are bad, but the costs seemed to be increasing and there seemed to be too much month at the end of my money recently.
This house was a gift from my parents to help us get started, but it wasn’t fully paid off. I contributed as much as I could to pay them back, knowing that I’ll own this place soon and then we can officially call it our own. But the cost of living increased each day, and the little things I bought for my wife added up each time, and the contributions towards the house got less and less.
My dad didn’t mind, he could survive with much more without my monthly payments, but it didn’t feel right to me. I had to do it for Reez and I because I was responsible for my wife, and I would want her to be happy that our place was ours alone and not ours just because someone gave it us, even if it was my parents.
Another week flew by in a blur of exams and deadlines, and by the end of it all, we were exhausted and happy to reach another weekend. Reez had one remaining paper and the promotions at our offices were being revealed first thing on Monday morning.
The reason for her tears two weeks back were forgotten and swept under the carpet for now. She smiled and seemed normal to me either way, so I didn’t think it was anything serious.
‘Good luck for your exam, love.’ I said to Reez as I dropped her off at campus. ‘I’ll see you later.’
‘Thank you. Are you working late today as well?’ Reez asked, a sliver of disappointment in her voice that I couldn’t ignore.
‘Maybe, but I don’t think so.’ I said with a smile before kissing her forehead. ‘Are you okay to go home with Kiara again?’
Reez nodded and agreed for her campus friend to drop her off as soon as they were done with their exams before she headed out.
I drove to the office and after settling in, we were summoned to the boardroom.
My palms were sweaty and my breath hitched in my throat as they began, the nerves taking over my body. The promotion could help my finances and it would be a step closer to financial freedom for Reez and I. I needed this more than anything.
‘ …. Laher, congratulations on your promotion.’
I zoned back into the room, watching smiling faces turn towards me, applauding, while a few sulked yet still applauded. Oh shit!
I looked up at the company director who stood at the front of the room and watched me, smiling too. I got the promotion!
I walked towards him, as the widest beam of a smile made its way to my face. I was stopped in my tracks as I realized that Ebrahim, my work colleague, overtook my step and headed to the front of the room. Mr Ebrahim Laher! The guy that was standing next to me! Shit!
I applauded my colleague too, but I was more than gutted on the inside.
I made my way home on time today with a bunch of roses on my arm. Reez loves roses, I thought to myself with a smile. So what if my day got ruined, maybe I can brighten hers, right?
Reez walked towards the door at the sound of it and I instantly dropped my bag before grabbing her in my arms.
‘What is going on?’ She asked, as she hugged me.
‘These are for you, my love.’ I smiled at her.
She examined the flowers with a smile before placing them on the counter and turning back to me. I pulled her close, kissing her softly before breaking the chemistry between us.
‘I didn’t get a promotion, my colleague got it.’ I said with a shrug of my shoulders.
”Awww, that’s okay, babes!’ Reez said, pulling me into a tight embrace. ‘Next time, inshallah.’
‘Thank you, baby!’ I said while smiling at her. ‘Ameen.’
‘How did your exam go, love?’ I asked Reez as I poked into my potato while having supper.
‘It was good. I felt like I knew what was going on. I’m just glad to be done!’ She sighed with relief.
‘When will results be coming out?’ I asked her.
‘In 3 weeks or so.’ She said with a heavy sigh.
‘Are you okay, baby? You seem a bit down.’ I said as I noticed the lack of a smile on her face.
‘Yeah, I’m okay.’ She said softly, barely making any eye contact.
I reached for her hand and gripped it between my fingers.
‘Is this about the other night?’ I asked her as I remembered her outburst.
She stiffened and her gaze remained looking down.
‘Reez, talk to me love. What’s bothering you?’
Her lip trembled as a lone tear escaped her eye.
Leaving my food, I reached out to her and placed my palms around her face, wiping the tears with my thumb.
‘Don’t cry, baby. Tell me what’s bothering you.’ I said, upset for the tears in her eyes.
And that’s when she spoke her heart out, telling me of the guilt she’s been suppressing for over two weeks, thinking of the sins we committed… the dating, the hugging, the dinners and lunches, the actual wedding, it was just sin after sin after sin.
As she spoke, realization hit me. She was right. I was too busy over the past few weeks to even notice her wallow in guilt, but now, as I watched her shoulders rise after letting it all out, I noticed how much lighter she seemed. I thought back to today and realized that her smile didn’t reach her eyes this morning, and her eyes didn’t sparkle.
How could I have been so focused on working hard that I missed the troubles swimming in her eyes?
And that’s when realization REALLY hit me.
I didn’t need any promotion. The expenses were the same since we got married, yet the money was never enough recently.
I was too busy chasing the things of this world to worry about the next life. The Jummah lecture came flooding back as the Moulana’s words filled my mind…
‘If you chase the dunya (world), it will run away from you. But if you chase Allah’s deen you will see the world in the rear view mirror. We chase success, money, flashy cars, designer brands and so much more just for temporary happiness. How stupid are we? We look for temporary happiness. Yet, if you chase Allah’s deen and aim to please him, he will grant you eternal happiness. Such is the mercy of our lord.’
Everything was still the same, yet it felt like we were being too luxurious. But we weren’t just chasing luxuries…
It was the result of our own sins. The barkat in our money was disappearing… Slowly but surely.
Reez was right. We needed to make things right.
But is it too late to repent?
Aaaand that’s a wrap until after Ramadaan! 💃🏻
Don’t forget to leave me some love and comment below 💖
To my wonderful readers:
Ramadaan Mubarak! 💖
May Allah grant you all a wonderful and blessed Ramadaan! Please don’t forget to remember Author S in your humble duas 😊 We all need duas 😉
Make me maaf for anything said, written or done that may have hurt you. Make me maaf for not posting on time. (I’ll make you maaf for cursing me for that, lol)
Jokes aside, I hope that you make the most of this blessed month and I hope that this month brings you nothing but good!
Inshallah, Ameen 😘💖
Pictures for today’s post are below!
Until next time…
Much love 😘😘